Halifax

Dear Halifax


             I am writing to you to inform you that i shall soon be using your London branch to deposit a large sum of money.


On arrival to the establishment it would be extremely nice of you to provide a welcome party. this party has to by no means be extravagant and is not something which will influence my decision to deposit such a large sum into an Halifax account.


If a party is arranged it need only be a small buffet spread including my favourite foods such as peanut butter and chocolate spread sandwiches or possibly egg and cress, although be warned that egg and cress gives me chronic wind. I think that it would also be suitable for a minor celebrity to welcome me in along with the CEO of the corporation. Such minor celebrities include; Emma Watson, Adele, or if your feeling cheap Kerry Katona


I would like to thank you for reading this email as I have spent weeks agonising over which bank I am able to trust with my £10 and after a long process of elimination Halifax has come up on top. I think you should all give yourselves a pat on the back.


                Yours Sincerely
                          
                           Bill


p.s can you make sure Howard is not part of the welcome party as his eyes scare me